Mutuality Builds & Sustains Love

Reciprocity in relationships shapes our relationships over time because it reflects the balance that needs to exist in order for optimal connection to be established.

One way to understand reciprocity is through how Brené Brown talks about vulnerability. She describes it as putting your toe in the water. You do not jump all the way in. You share a little and pay attention to what happens next. That pause matters because the response tells you whether the relationship can hold what you offer.

In other examples, you reach out and notice whether there is a response. You do something thoughtful for them and notice whether sharing is returned. They have something important going on in their life and you show up for them and then notice whether they show up for you. That back and forth gives you information. It shows whether effort flows both ways or stalls with you.

Although reciprocity in relationships is two way, it is not about equal dosages at every moment. Healthy reciprocity stretches across time. There are seasons when one person gives more because the other is carrying something heavy. That does not break reciprocity. What matters is shared responsibility and the willingness to re engage when capacity returns, so one person is not always doing the emotional labor.

Reciprocity requires intention. That can look like checking in. Offering support. Reaching out after time has passed. Sharing something because it reminded you of them. These small, consistent actions help protect connection from becoming one sided. Over time, it also reveals which relationships are perfectly aligned, which need to be adjusted and which you need to let go of.

If you want support in learning how to practice reciprocity in relationships in ways that grow your capacity to love and be loved, you should totally get Love Will Liberate which comes out January 31 on major book retailer platforms. To get a sneak peak you can download the first chapter here.

On a different, but similar note on reciprocity, we're super excited about the launch of our Detroit Wellbeing survey designed so we can create the wellbeing support that Detroiters most want and need. If you live in the city of Detroit, we'd greatly appreciate your perspective by clicking here. And please share with other Detroiters you know. We're eager to create something truly meaningful in full partnership with this beautiful city!

Ashe'

Demarra West

Founder